All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. (Shakespeare)
The person you think of as "yourself" exists only for you, and even you don't really know who that is. Every person you meet, have a relationship with or make eye contact on the street with, creates a version of "you" in their heads. You're not the same person to your mum, your dad, your siblings, than you are to your coworkers, your neighbors or your friends. There are a thousand different versions of yourself out there, in people's minds. A "you" exists in each version, and yet your "you", "yourself", isn't really a "someone" at all. (Mr Luck 2020)
We all take on roles, we are trained from an early age as to what is an acceptable way to behave. We learn that is we behave in a certain way we are rewarded. If we don't conform there is a consequence, sometimes a withdrawal of love, compassion or attention. We learn how to present ourselves
We take on roles to present ourselves, these roles depend on the social situation, the other players and if there is an agreement and acceptance to the presentation. GOFFMAN
William Joyce wrote "we may practically say that he has as many different social selves as there are distinct groups of persons about whose opinion he cares. He generally shows a different side of himself to each of these different groups. Many a youth who is demure enough before his parents and teachers, swears and swaggers like a pirate among his 'tough' young friends. We do not show ourselves to our children as to our club companions, to our customers as to the laborers we employ, to our own masters and employers as to our intimate friends. "
Of course when we interact with others, we are at the mercy of them judging us, and people usually judge based on their own behaviors and values. Therefore their version is corrupted by their experience, their values and so on.
By exploring all aspects of ourselves through each lenses we present to the world we can see ourselves as others may see us. As a child, a sibling, a parent, a friend, a co-worker, an acquaintance, a romantic partner. If we have integrity and and are aligned with our values, the "me" presented will have little core difference. If we have undergone work to understand our shadow side, all the negative beliefs we have gathered about ourselves then we can be more confident that the 'me' presented is an authentic version of who we believe we are.We will be less likely to find fault in others who present qualities we dislike in ourselves. This takes a Jungian view of self
As we age through the stages of life, new people who meet us base their view of us on who we are now, not what we have been.
However if you conduct yourself authentically and with integrity, then the true you is known by all you meet, whether they choose to acknowledge that or not.
And if we explore consciousness then all that matters is us
“For one, my own consciousness is the only element of existence I am personally aware of. Through the flow of subjective experiences I perceive an external reality and myself demarcated from i ”Glattfelder. Therefore there may be many versions of us , a record of each interaction, but that is our perception, of ourself and how we interact our values, interests, roles, social and own expectations.
