September arrives heralding the end of lazy summer days. The start of autumn, the return to school and normal routines. It is a transition point in the pattern of the year.
Although of course change and transitions can occur at any time, how we respond to them, usually is through the grief process as they mean leaving something behind, a loss.
Denial: “This can't be happening to me.”
Anger: “ Why is this happening? Who is to blame? ”
Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”
Depression: “I'm too sad to do anything.”
Acceptance: “I'm at peace with what happened.”
The change is something we have chosen, we may feel sad about some elements, overall the feeling will be of being at peace with the decision.
If the change is forced upon us, we are likely to respond in one of the first four ways. That 's not to say we need to work through all 5 in a linear order, that doesn't work and was never what the model was designed for.
Change is part of life as are transitions, how can we best manage them.
Writing a journal, or doodling to help you express your feelings is helpful. Feelings need to be acknowledged so they don't become all consuming, and cause problems such as depression, anxiety or substance misuse. If the loss is a person or pet create something to celebrate their life, what they meant to you, the happy times, the sad times, day to day times.
Try and keep to a routine, keep up hobbies and interests, that you enjoy and keep you connected to people.
Plan how you will cope with first anniversaries, for everyone this is different. This is why its important to remember how you feel is how you feel, no-one else can decide that for you. Don't let people put a time limit on how you can feel a certain way.
Change and transitions are a certain thing in life, we are not designed to be stagnant, the changing seasons remind us of this. We need to move forward or sideways through life and our choices, because even if an event is imposed on us, how we react is our choice.
