Gossip

We live in strange times, and I've noticed this is happening a lot, in all different kinds of communities. 
People may be scared, may have forgotten how to be social after lock down or may want attention of any kind, or simply just are jealous or feel threatened. Also worth pondering is the rise in gossip about real people due to the lack of reality tv shows and the need for building connections and commonality with peers we want as part of our social group. 

SO what is gossip and how can you respond.

Gossip falls into three categories, The first two are not problematic they enhance belonging.

positive (research suggests about 5% is positive - this is when we recommend people, give compliments about them to others) Word of mouth recommendations

Neutral - an exchange of information that is neither negative or positive (about 75% of gossip) 
The intent to understand human nature and improve one's quality of life and relationships.

Negative (10%) the gossip that hurts people. The intention to temporarily feel superior or get attention by disparaging others.

These are good responses ... Sometimes it's hard to respond to a gossiper without getting dragged in

“I notice that you talk about X a lot. I'm curious why she interests you so much? ”

“Let's take a look at it from X's side.”

“I am more interested in what you are up to.”

“Let's talk about something more positive or decide what we're going to do this afternoon.”

“I feel uncomfortable listening to negative judgments about people unless we figure out how to help them.”

If someone gossips about you, you can either put your side out there, ignore it but don't define them you !!

and a quick ps Men gossip as much as women and money and social standing makes no difference.